So, let’s say you’re a teenage girl. And, say, due to undisclosed psychological damage, you really want a weird, controlling, MUCH older, sparkly, smelly boyfriend. And, you want sex with said boyfriend to violently knock you unconscious. AND, you want the resulting pregnancy to nearly kill you, so that he has to perform an amateur c-section on you . . . with his teeth.

Why would you want this? I honestly have no idea. But, hey, we don’t judge here at Lost in Transcription.

Introducing BLOOD CONCEPT, a set of fragrances out of Italy. Dab a little of this behind your ears, and you’ll soon be fighting off swarms of vampires AND mosquitos.

I am AB negative, which means that I have a head of  “Aldehydes. Aluminium. Slate,” A middle of “Pebble. Aqua,” and a base of “Cedar Wood. Metallic Notes.” Or maybe it means I have the negative of that.

Direct from the website:

Filled with legends and meanings, blood is soaked with mystery‚ fascination and respect. it’s the most tested and studied part of human body and it guards a multitude of secrets that reveals our inner and unique way of being.

BLOOD CONCEPT is a private celebration of the vivid and fascinating liquid that flows in our veins. Because blood is actually the river of life.

A, B, AB and 0, retrace the evolution of manhood through time and its record of information, history and mutation, so well kept in the vital flushing of blood. 

BLOOD CONCEPT is a mystic ritual with no flowers to be found: deep as primeval Africa in 0‚ aromatic as the scent of familiar land in A, bold as unpredictable itineraries in B, bold and sharp as a metropolitan skyline in AB.

Ending each time with the same subtle and mysterious note: a metallic vague suspicion.

 Oddly enough, in that text (copied and pasted), that fourth flavor is not the letter “O”, but the number zero.