So, for the past few months, I’ve been getting this at the top of my twitter feed:

Except I’ve been getting e-mails from Twitter, pretty much every day.

For example, I’ve been getting those e-mails informing me of what the people I follow on Twitter are talking about. For the record, Twitter, I already have a service that tells me what the people I follow on Twitter are talking about. It’s called “Twitter.”

Is this your passive-aggressive way of complaining that I never respond to your e-mails, Twitter?

What’s next? Are you going to tell me you’re worried that my answering machine is broken, because you’ve left like five messages, but I haven’t called you back yet? Are you going to ask for topless pics? Show up on my porch? Tell me that if you can’t have me, no one can?

Seriously, Twitter is the worst boyfriend ever.